


Once You Go Black...

by AccidentallyTheWholeFanfic



Category: Super Mario Bros., Super Mario Galaxy
Genre: Humor, Parody, Physics Fail
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-19
Updated: 2012-06-19
Packaged: 2017-11-08 03:33:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/438684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AccidentallyTheWholeFanfic/pseuds/AccidentallyTheWholeFanfic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mario must hurry to complete a dangerous mission, before space itself swallows him up!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Once You Go Black...

In his wildest dreams, Mario could never have imagined something like this - saving the entire  _universe!_ What a responsibility, a weight on his shoulders heavier than even the great Jupiter!

And, as though confined to an eternal pattern, he once again was charged with rescuing his beautiful Peach from the clutches of the megalomaniacal Bowser. A gigantic turtle, running the universe... an obscene thought! But, he reminded himself grimly, one that could be dangerously close to coming true if he didn't hurry and get those stars...

With this thought pushing him ever onward, Mario made his way swiftly across the vanishing tiles, his feet slipping dangerously as his footholds slowly shrank to nothing - he had to be faster than this! The low, ominous humming of the black hole swirling in the center of the planet's frame rang in his ears, taunting him with its blatant and shameless defiance of the laws of physics.

Madness! The cosmos were  _madness!_ So many black holes dangerously close to the planets, close to  _each other_ , and yet... the only thing they could suck in was... him. What demented sorcery was this?

Mario stumbled and clutched at a stitch in his side, eyes darting around as he continued to run, noting that his safe standing space was almost completely gone. Only a few tiles remained ahead of him, around a sharp bend - if the Lumas had been correct, the star would be his very soon, and he could fly back to the observatory, free of this wretched deathtrap forever.

As the tile he was crossing began to shrink, his foot caught the metal frame that separated him from the next tile. He tripped.

Grunting, he struggled to unhook his foot, panic clouding his movements. The black hole's humming grew louder. There was no way he would make it now. The star was lost to him. He'd failed them all...

"WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Mario screamed as he tumbled towards nothingness, feeling his body being stretched and shredded into ribbons as the extreme gravity crushed him, ripped him, and sucked him out of existence. The Luma beneath his hat wriggled out and flew off in the nick of time, looking back briefly to see the black hole suck in the entire planet itself. It would regenerate shortly. He'd felt a little bad about pushing Mario over, but a bribe of delicious Star Bits and a back-up savior were enough to ensure that the brief pangs of guilt were quickly forgotten. Mario probably had another extra life, anyway.

With the thought of his favorite treat now hazing his mind, the Luma headed back home to let Luigi know that all had gone as planned, and to collect his succulent reward.

**Author's Note:**

> I sometimes feel a silent, seething hatred for this wonderful game. (Fucking trial galaxies.)


End file.
